Emotional Eating

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus . . .” 

Romans 8:1 (NIV)

 

I have noticed that there are two large groups of people who participate in the N.E.W. LIFE program.  About 50% of the people do not know what a balanced diet is, no less an optimal one, confused by nutrition information (and misinformation) and because the Standard American Diet is so far from optimal https://newlifeforhealth.blogspot.com/2013/08/an-optimal-diet.html.  Teach them, they have hardly any barriers to change (which totally amazes me), contact them years later and they often have maintained many or all of the changes made. 

However, the other 50ish% of each class (and the culture at large?) comes with an additional component underlying their food behaviors—a very out-of-balance, or outright addictive, emotional component to eating.  Now don’t misunderstand—an emotional component to eating is right and good.  Nutriture and nurture are two God-given roles of food (watch a baby at the breast).  Nurture is not the problem—overnurture is.  And overnurture usually results from undernurture, as with a “good food/bad food” diet mentality and restrictive diets that lead to what I call the “deprivation-rebound overeating” cycle.  The most perfect eating plan on earth is not going to help that 2^nd (very large) group of people, because their “problem” is not first and foremost about food, but rather coping with underlying unresolved issues without the aid of food.  In fact, often it will make them feel worse for having “failed” yet another great diet.  So while the first group of people will say, “I don’t have a relationship with food”, I have never in all my years of teaching ever heard one person complain that I spend about 45% of the time in the N.E.W. LIFE program and counseling on “relationship with food” issues, because everyone realizes that we would do a huge disservice to a huge amount of people if we do not help individuals who need to deal with this issue.

So the first thing you must do if you are looking to take the journey to better health is determine which group you are in.  Are you an “emotional  eater” or not?  It’s time to be honest.  Do you have a relationship with food that is out of balance? 

Whenever I use the term “emotional eater”, what I mean is an overemotional eater.  There is an emotional component to eating.  The goal is not to achieve a lifestyle of eating behavior totally devoid of any emotional component to eating.  But if you have no self-control regarding food, feel enslaved by food, or have allowed food to become an idol and take the place of God, then food has taken a place it is not meant to be in.  Overemotional eating is often fueled by underlying unresolved emotional pain.  Emotional eaters also turn to food to comfort loneliness, to calm stress, and about as many other reasons as there are emotions. 

Individuals who struggle with emotionally-driven eating often use food as a coping mechanism.  For emotional eaters the problem is not first and foremost about food, but rather coping with other issues without the aid of food.  If you are an emotional eater food can be a coping mechanism to deal with feelings that might otherwise make you feel uncomfortable—you may even feel they threaten to overwhelm you if you did not use something (like food) to cope with them.  This is why it is so difficult to break the cycle of emotional eating—it takes feeling, and healing from, difficult feelings that are much “easier” to ignore, bury under food, or deny.  Ironically, if you are an emotional eater you probably eat to keep uncomfortable feelings from surfacing.  You may not be able to label the pain, or you may be in denial that there is any pain fueling your eating behavior.  When I was bingeing 5x/night I could not label what the pain was and I was also in denial and unaware that there was anything wrong other than my lack of ability to control my food intake.  All I knew was I felt anxious if I did not eat (to stuff the pain)—food was a calming device.  But once I started (with God’s help) to lift the coping mechanism, the pain started to surface.  That’s when it was time to walk through the pain with God—not around the pain, ignore the pain, stuff the pain, deny the pain—but walk through the pain, with God, to Healing and freedom on the other side. 

However, the pain can be so great that it may not only be helpful but necessary to not go through it alone, but with an understanding spouse, a trusted friend, a professional Biblically-based Christian counselor or an experienced Biblically-based pastoral counselor and, most importantly, with God. When you take each step with Him through the process of Healing He won’t miss any steps (as even the best counselor, without God, likely will).  He knows everything that has happened, and He knows your heart better than you do.  The Word of God says we don’t even know our own hearts:

“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.  Who can understand it?”  

Jeremiah 17:9 (NIV)

God knows everything and He won’t miss any steps if you follow His lead for Healing.  I have heard professionals in the field of eating disorders say that people can get better from eating disorders, but they will have to live with the struggle to some degree for the rest of their lives.  But Jesus said,

". . . 'If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples.  Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.'"

John 8:31-32 (NIV)

I, for one, can testify to the fact that I am completely free from the 5-tier, 15 year, unrelenting bondage I was in to food, diets, body image, exercise and the scale.  I can sleep in the same house as Haagen-Dazs ice cream through the night (whereas before I had to keep it out of the house, but would often go out and get it in the middle of the night).  Now I forget to eat in situations that have been far more painful than the ones that had me bingeing for 15 years straight.  I remember when I was facilitating a Christ-centered support/recovery group and I shared a painful situation I was going through, one of the women asked me, "Did you eat?" and I was the most amazed person on earth that I actually forgot to eat!  When God Heals He really Heals.  Freedom from food/body image obsession is available to everyone.  All agree that the problem involves physical and emotional factors.  However, the spiritual component is just as important as the first two (if not more) and, if left out, the professionals are right--we can get better, but not necessarily free.  True freedom results in being able to grieve the pain of life rather than turning to the "aid" of food to "cope".  Often that healing requires forgiveness which, without God, is virtually impossible for many people who have experienced so much horrendous offense.

So there are two reasons (at least) why it is important that you determine to walk with God through the process of healing from pain and any bondage to emotional eating that may have developed.  First of all, if you have replaced a relationship with Him with a relationship with food, it’s time to repent and get that right.  Furthermore, when He leads the process He doesn’t miss a step, so the result is freedom.  I remember the exact moment 30 years ago that I stood in front of the refrigerator and, for the first time, felt conviction rather than the 15 years straight of condemnation.  I didn’t realize it then, but now I know that was the Holy Spirit, and that was a powerful work of God.  It was the key turning point from self-condemnation to self-acceptance (instead of 15 years of feeling “you terrible, slovenly, lack of willpower person” I was coming out of denial and recognizing “something is obviously wrong”, though I could not yet tell you what it was).  I finally said to myself that something was obviously wrong, but I could not label the pain.  All I knew was that I felt anxious if I did not eat.  The difference was (and this was the turning point from going continually downhill to beginning the process up and out of the eating disorder) self-acceptance (notice I didn’t say “self-esteem”).  I felt conviction instead of the condemnation I had been under up until then.  That was the key turning point—conviction is from the Holy Spirit, condemnation is from the enemy.

The reality is if you suffer from emotional eating driven by unresolved issues, in order to become free of the bondage to emotional eating (and the toll it is taking on your life) it will likely involve healing from pain.  I define freedom as being able to grieve the pain of life without the aid of food to “cope”.  Real life involves both pain and joy.  With God’s Grace we can deal with the pain.  I don’t think He meant for food (or drugs, or alcohol, or promiscuous sex) to take that role.  Think about it—wouldn’t that mean we might just as well become an alcohol or drug addict and be excused for the same reason?  

For people who are not emotional eaters N.E.W. LIFE provides the thorough basis to change behaviors and maintain healthy eating and lifestyle habits for the rest of your life.  However, if you are an emotional eater you will likely not be able to achieve permanent weight management and freedom from bondage to food until underlying issues are resolved and your relationship with God begins to replace your relationship with food.

So first step--evaluate if you are an emotional eater or not.  Perhaps some of the following questions will help you to do that.  It is not an exhaustive list, but consider the following questions, preferably during or shortly after an overeating episode, and ask God to show you what He will:

Am I experiencing true physiological hunger or do I just want something (anything!) to eat?

Am I eating to calm anxiety?  Do I feel anxious if I don’t eat?

Am I eating to calm stress?

Have I been the "nurturer" for others so much today that I am using food to nurture me?  

Am I eating because I feel lonely?

Do I feel unloved?

Am I depressed?

Am I angry?

Am I overeating to "celebrate"? (some “feasting” is OK but holidays and social gatherings may affect your eating too often)

Am I eating to avoid love and intimacy?

Am I eating to avoid facing problems?

Am I eating to punish myself or others?

Am I overeating in response to depriving myself of food?

Do I binge several times a week?

 

God bless you on your journey with spiritual, emotional and physical health and Healing.

N.E.W. LIFE (Nutrition, Exercise, Wellness for LIFE): Biblical Support for Health and Freedom from Bondage to Food and Diets

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My Story

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

2 Corinthians 5:17

 

My own experience with weight gain, dieting failure and bondage to food started with 22 years of nearly all consuming physical, mental and emotional involvement in elite gymnastics competition, coaching and judging.  Along with the stresses and loneliness of a gymnast training and competing at the elite level, I was raised in a dysfunctional family system.  I wish to say here that the effect of a country gone so far astray from Christian principles is that, at this point, it may be that a majority of families have a significant amount of "dysfunction".  There is no blame intended here.  If anyone is to blame I am because I turned to food instead of God for comfort.

I began to use food in more than its God‑given place to fill legitimate unmet needs.  In seeking God I would have found the way to heal, overcome, and live righteously in a fallen world and that He more than meets our unmet needs.  Instead, after retiring from elite gymnastics competition at the age of 17, disappointed in myself for not making an Olympic team, I began to use food to quench feelings of inadequacy and low self‑esteem.  The vicious cycle had begun, and as my body weight increased beyond what is healthy I felt increasingly worse about myself so I dieted, and I dieted hard.  Before long I had developed a bondage to food and body image which resulted in a 5-tier, 15-year addictive relationship to food, diets, body image, exercise and the scale. 

My pattern was to eat 4‑5 times in the middle of the night and then exercise 2‑3 hours each day driven out of guilt and fear of fat.  I was "purging" myself of the food I had eaten.  It made me feel somewhat better to make up for, at least in part, the out‑of‑control eating I was engaged in.  This went on for 15 years straight, no Sundays off!  Regardless of the constant dieting and excessive exercise, I gained over 60 pounds in the first 2 years as I turned increasingly to food to try to quench unlabeled and unresolved emotional pain.  Food is a substance which in its rightful God‑given place is a wonderful means of nutriture and nurture.  However, disobedience can pervert the abundant blessing which the Lord has given to us and it can be misused in a way that God never intended for it to be.  Anything can be good or bad, and food may be used or abused just as drugs, alcohol, sex, etc.  I realize now that even exercise can be misused too:

“For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” 

1 Timothy 4:8 (NIV)

Later when I obtained a master's degree in nutrition I was given the opportunity to do nutrition research.  This gave me an appreciation for the observable biochemical nature of the science of nutrition, that there are causes and effects and, in more practical terms, consequences of our actions.  During this time I also became certified as a Registered Dietitian through the American Dietetic Association (renamed the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics in 2012).  Professional work has included teaching nutrition education/behavior modification programs for the American Heart Association of Colorado, radio shows, hospital, business and community seminars and 10-week programs, health club programs and consultations, college instruction, publishing, individual consultations, and finally, development of the N.E.W. LIFE program.  I have been free from the bondages of food abuse, diets and preoccupation with body image for over 30 years.  I define freedom as the ability to grieve the real pain of life without the aid of food.  I am the most amazed person on earth that I actually forget to eat even in response to deep pain whereas previously it had unyielding power over my life.  Anorexia, bulimia, and compulsive overeating are the extreme manifestations of a growing epidemic of eating disorders, and there are an immeasurable number of people struggling with bondages to food, body image and emotional eating in-between those extremes.  My heart goes out to the women, men and children who struggle with food addictions, emotional eating, and eating disorders, as well as to a Church burdened with disease due to out-of-balance eating behaviors.

I hope and pray that as I share from my experience and the Word of God it will help others.  I prayerfully write each blog post in truth and love only to share with you what I have learned thus far, praying that He will fill in the gaps necessary for each and every reader.  It is not the intent of this author to “preach”.  As you can see I come with my own history of eating/exercise disorder, the result of a self‑esteem futilely tied to body image and performance.  My purpose is to share the hope of Jesus Christ and that freedom from bondage to food and diets is available to everyone. 

May God bless you on your journey as He has on mine.

N.E.W. LIFE (Nutrition, Exercise, Wellness for LIFE): Biblical Support for Health and Freedom from Bondage to Food and Diets

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Diets Don’t Work

“Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules: ‘Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!’?  These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based on merely human commands and teachings.  Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.”

Colossians 2:20-23 (NIV)

 

As Americans steadily gain weight, a national obsession with dieting has occurred.  Diets have been held forth as the “solution” to weight problems, but they have failed, miserably.  Yet even with a literal epidemic of dieting failure they have somehow managed to succeed in the grandest dupery of all time--leaving dieters feeling like they are the failure (because they didn’t have enough “willpower”) instead of the solution being given them.  Most people end up physically and psychologically worse off than if they had never started on a diet in the first place.  Americans, many of them Christians, are being given a false “solution” to the wrong “problem”.  It’s time for that to stop.  Overweight is not the problem, overeating is.    

But it takes two to tango, as they say, and we are responsible for our part Church.  You would think that after decades of dieting failure (individually and collectively) people would stop embarking on the next diet, but many still look to diets (and now their substitute cousin—drugs) as the answer as if totally oblivious to dieting failure.  The Church, much like the world, is still abuzz with new and improved diets as if believers don’t have discernment or because the flesh pulls us to try to “fix” a problem that is bigger than ourselves.  If you look to the next new diet, perhaps you have been convinced that it was your lack of “willpower” that resulted in failure in the past.  Or maybe you have been convinced of the newest diet since you know someone who has lost weight in the short-term (and I stress short-term).  I find it particularly uncomfortable that brothers and sisters in the Church, with their extra measure of credibility in Christ, give praise to the fad diets even when the authors promote philosophical agendas in their books that contradict God’s Word.  Perhaps many believers so easily follow what is popular in the culture as if that is their only option because it is the only option being given, one that seems to make “sense”, often proffered by self-proclaimed “experts” and wholeheartedly supported by the medical profession and Christians alike. 

 

But dieting for weight-loss is not your only option.

 

In fact, it shouldn’t be an option at all.  God has a much better way.

 

N.E.W. LIFE is very effective for weight-loss (95% of the people who have come to a N.E.W. LIFE program have raised their hand when I asked who was there for weight-loss), but God’s plan goes FAR beyond just losing weight.  In fact, the reason why N.E.W. LIFE is so effective for weight-loss is precisely because we take the focus off of weight and put it on behavior and health instead.  N.E.W. LIFE stands for Nutrition, Exercise, Wellness for LIFE—notice there’s no “diet” in the name.  My prayer is that the words I share and the work of the Holy Spirit will help the reader to break any “diet mentality” that may be present.  A diet mentality is in direct opposition to God’s Word, so it is no wonder that it leads to physical, emotional and spiritual havoc in so many lives.  Diets are based on “man’s law” instead of God’s law, and even God’s holy law can only show us where we fall short.  The law shows us what is required but has no power to help us do it.  It is the job of the Holy Spirit, a gift of a deposit in those who have received Jesus Christ, to make happen what the law says should happen but doesn’t have the power to make happen.  It is by the power of the Holy Spirit that we can become free from bondage, walk in optimal health, and live an abundant life. 

“I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.  For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.  But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. . . But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.  Against such there is no law.  And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.  If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.”  Galatians 5:16-18, 22-25 (NKJV)

Are you beginning to see how your relationship with God, and walking in the Spirit, is where you will find the power to overcome the desires and fleshly behaviors which you may be in bondage to?  But how does one “walk in the Spirit”, be “led by the Spirit”, “live in the Spirit”?  The believer who has repented for sin and believed and received the sacrifice of Jesus Christ as his/her Lord and Savior is saved (by grace, through faith—Ephesians 2:8) and is filled with the Holy Spirit in an initial baptism of the Spirit, a conversion to a new man having been born again spiritually.  Then and only then can one be filled with the Holy Spirit, and then it is up to us to live a life in step with the Holy Spirit.  An important part of the process which follows salvation (which is called sanctification) is to continue to be fed by the Holy Spirit-inspired Word of God to grow and continue to be transformed.  The Holy Spirit saves and sanctifies.  Our role is to believe and to surrender, and that is an ongoing process.  Read the Word of God daily and see what happens.   

In future posts I will discuss why the “diet mentality” will not only fail you (God won’t), but  how diets are actually harmful—very, very harmful.

 

Dear Lord, Thank you for sending Your Holy Spirit to us and for your Holy Spirit-inspired Word that we can continue to be filled with and strengthened by.  May Your Holy Spirit minister, teach, lead and heal.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

 

 

N.E.W. LIFE (Nutrition, Exercise, Wellness for LIFE): Biblical Support for Health and Freedom from Bondage to Food and Diets

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              E-book  $10  https://payhip.com/b/JKrMG                        

 

 

Free Indeed Freedom

“To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, ‘If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples.  Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. . . Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin.  Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever.  So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.’"

John 8:31‑32, 34-36 (NIV)

 

Food is a BLESSING from the Lord, but for a variety of reasons it is being misused and abused resulting in a national epidemic of “lifestyle” diseases.  Furthermore, a hurting world is reaching out to find ways to fill emotional hunger and anesthetize pain.  Many of us allow food to take an inappropriate role when we use it as a substitute for our relationship with other people and/or God.  Millions have developed an emotional or addictive relationship with food.  The lack of God in peoples’ lives has left a void which cannot be filled no matter how much sex, alcohol, drugs or food is used (it is interesting that at the same time as God was kicked out of America the obesity rate went up).  The Church may be at particular risk for the consequences of food abuse because Christians believe that promiscuous sex, alcohol and drug abuse are sinful and grievous offenses.  However, legitimate needs go unmet and people often turn to the “legitimate” comfort of food.  Meanwhile, a national obsession with food, body image, diets, and an epidemic of eating disorders are robbing our nation of its physical, emotional, and spiritual health.

There is also a lot of misinformation in nutrition and weight-loss, often from self-proclaimed “experts”.  People need clarity in an area that has become confused with opinions, half‑truths, and contradictions.  God's way is Perfect and it is only by receiving and being obedient to His truth that we can attain complete Healing and live His best plan for our lives.  My prayer is that while I share from my professional and personal experience that the Holy Spirit will speak to the issues with which each reader may be dealing.  I have been free from the bondages of food abuse, diets and preoccupation with body image for over 30 years.  I define freedom as the ability to grieve the real pain of life without the aid of food.  I am the most amazed person on earth that I actually forget to eat even in response to deep pain whereas previously it had unyielding power over my life.  Anorexia, bulimia, and compulsive overeating are the extreme manifestations of a growing epidemic of eating disorders, and there are an immeasurable number of people struggling with bondages to food, body image and emotional eating in-between those extremes.  My heart goes out to the women, men and children who struggle with food addictions, emotional eating, and eating disorders, as well as to a Church burdened with disease due to out-of-balance eating behaviors.  I want to share what God has done for me, and for others, and what He can do for you.  My intention is to share my professional and personal experience, and Scripture, to bring light into this area of nutrition, health and the food/dieting struggle many believers are engaged in.

 The “free indeed” freedom that Jesus offers is not about dieting to get free of overeating and overweight.  Diets don’t work--the reasons why will be the topic of future blog posts.  Diets substitute one form of bondage (to food) with another (to diets).  “Free indeed” freedom is about Healing from underlying pain that often drives food addiction.  Jesus actually ransomed us—bought us—out of the slave market of sin and death to free us, His Sacrifice given for us to be Forgiven by God.  Jesus became the prisoner so that we might become free.  Free indeed freedom because His work on the Cross was not lacking.

 

Dear Lord, Your Word provides everything we need to live a godly life and is a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path.  May your Word lead us step by step out of bondage to freedom.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

 

 

N.E.W. LIFE (Nutrition, Exercise, Wellness for LIFE): Biblical Support for Health and Freedom from Bondage to Food and Diets

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Wecome!

Welcome to The Seed blog, written after 30 years of teaching and assisting people with behavior change as a nutrition educator/registered dietitian nutritionist.  But I also share as one who previously binged 5x/night for 15 years straight (no Sundays off!) and who is completely free for over 30 years from a bondage to food and body image which resulted in a 5-tier, 15-year addictive relationship to food, diets, body image, exercise and the scale.  I write each post to share with you what God has taught me and done for me, and what I have shared with thousands of individuals that has helped them to improve their health and energy, and to become free from bondages to food, diets, body image and emotional eating.

This blog post is the first in a new series of blog posts that coincides with the recently published book, N.E.W. LIFE (Nutrition, Exercise, Wellness for LIFE): Biblical Support for Health and Freedom from Bondage to Food and Diets.  Each post will share from the book and will often expand on topics further.  While each post can stand alone to benefit the reader some readers may want to also purchase the N.E.W. LIFE book for a more comprehensive understanding of each topic in context which the book offers.  A link is provided at the end of each post for individuals who would like to purchase the N.E.W. LIFE print book or e-book.

The N.E.W. LIFE book, and the Seed blog, is written for the Church--a 30-year-burden on my heart--and as much of the world as will have it.  My hope and prayer is that what I share will help people who struggle with a poor relationship with food to better health, for individuals in bondage to food and diets to find freedom, and to help those who have settled for a relationship with food to discover the incomparably more satisfying relationship with God and the abundant life that Jesus died to give us.  I hope that what I share will edify the Church and that the reader will find support in what I share on a journey to better spiritual, emotional and physical health and a deepening relationship with God.  And for any who read these pages who have not yet come to a saving knowledge and relationship with Jesus Christ, that they will come to repentance and redemption through God’s saving Grace.

God bless you and to God be the Glory!

 

 

N.E.W. LIFE (Nutrition, Exercise, Wellness for LIFE): Biblical Support for Health and Freedom from Bondage to Food and Diets

                                       Print book  $20  https://payhip.com/b/aLGtD          

     

                                        E-book  $10  https://payhip.com/b/JKrMG