In the previous post I wrote about repentance in changing eating behavior that may involve sin. Overcoming an addictive relationship with food is most often a process. Don’t expect the battle to be over and just “go away” the moment you bring it into the light--for most of us it is a process to freedom. Don’t give up after the first try. Does God? Far from it! Keep walking in the light, keep confessing, trust God, and let Him Heal and sanctify this area of your life. Celebrate your victories no matter how “small” and keep returning to God in confession and repentance for as long as it takes to overcome the temptation and sin. While God can instantly remove an addiction (and I have heard many stories of Him doing that for smokers and drug addicts), I think the reason it is usually a process for compulsive eaters is that compulsive overeating is usually driven by underlying emotional pain which takes time to Heal, not just a physical addiction as in the case of cigarettes and drugs.
You may feel you lack discipline to withstand temptation, but if the only discipline you can muster is to keep confessing and repenting with each fall then do so. Don’t buy the lie that God is tiring of you coming back over and over because of repeated failure with a besetting sin. On the contrary, continual confession is evidence of faith that pleases Him. God tires of the unrepentant sinner, not the repentant one. If you struggle with a stubborn habit or stronghold God understands that and He is Faithful to do His part if we do our part:
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
1 John 1:9 (NKJV)
I daresay God is not disappointed in us for “failing too much” as He is disappointed in us not coming to Him after failing because He can help and wants to. That’s how I feel about my children when they fail. I would much rather they keep coming back to me for help than separating and going off so I don’t see them for long periods of time. You can choose to either keep going back to food after failure, or keep going back to God. God’s mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-24). If we sin, do you think God wants us to stay away, or do you think He wants us to come back into fellowship with Him immediately? If you are not sure of the answer, read the account of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32), paying special attention to the father:
“So
he got up and went to his father.
“But while he
was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for
him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
“The
son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
“But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.”
Luke 15:20-24 (NIV)
Does
that sound like a Father who wants his sinning child to stay away? He was waiting and looking for his son’s
return. In fact it pleased the Father so
much to see his return. He longs to see
sinners repent and rejoices when they do.
So it really becomes an issue of if we want to please God and be
obedient to what He would want. And do
you see how fast He forgives? The son
didn’t even get to say the words he rehearsed.
The son received no rebuke, just an outpouring of love and joy.
If
you think you shouldn’t go back to God until you are ready to never fail again
(all-or-nothing thinking) you deprive yourself of the very help you need to
come out of the bondage to freedom. When
my boys were young I would hold their hands on walks along uneven or rocky
paths. I did not let go simply because
they slipped or stumbled. And I didn’t
get mad at them or think less of them if they stumbled. In fact, I cared all the more and held on
even tighter. The Bible acknowledges
that good men (and women) stumble and fall, but that the Lord is there to help
and that God cares for His children even when they stumble and fall:
“The
steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast
down; for the Lord upholds him with His hand.”
Psalm 37:23-24 (NKJV)
“The Lord upholds all who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down.”
Psalm 145:14 (NIV)
“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
Isaiah 40:29-31 (NIV)
Do you think God expects us to be sanctified (which is a transformation process) all at once? Would you expect your children to grow up all at once? Any effective behavior change program will emphasize realistic goal-setting. Baby steps! Sanctification is a process. It’s important to not become disillusioned if the victory does not come in the first skirmish. Moses foresaw that the completion of the conquest would be gradual, and that Israel would have to go to battle many times before all the enemies would be overcome. We don’t suddenly overcome our struggles with sin and the flesh by making just the right decision that ends the struggle with temptation. However, the Spirit does provide us with the power to continually subdue the lusts of the flesh and overcome sin. When people would ask me how I lost so much weight, while I could share all the practical steps, the primary reason is summed up in this—the closer I got to God the weight melted off. He enabled me to do all the practical steps of changing eating behavior more and more. Without even realizing it at the time, even my desires were being sanctified (changed!), and that is a work of the Holy Spirit (God knows I couldn't change them). While your desires are being sanctified and changing you will probably continue to battle temptation. Eventually even the temptation goes away. The foods (and emotions) that used to have power over me do not even appeal to me anymore. The more I obeyed the healthier I ate until the time came that eating the same junk food that I used to eat all the time now makes me not feel good.
So the word "repentance" may seem rather dramatic for a blog for eating issues but unless we face the fact that the habitual overeating is not just a “problem” we have, but rather the lust of our flesh, we will not recognize our true need for help. Don’t misunderstand, there are times we may overeat when it is not sin (periodically feasting in celebration). In fact, normal eating is sometimes overeating, sometimes undereating, and in general being in balance. Normal eating is flexible. But there is also overeating that is sin, and then our battle is with sin and flesh. Tiptoeing around the issue of overeating as a “non-sin” issue when it is sin is not helpful. Nobody has the solution to sin apart from Jesus Christ (certainly no diet does!), and the Holy Spirit has been given to us to help us overcome sin in our lives. While it may seem temporarily that you have won a battle on a diet, there may be more temptation to come, especially if the diet made you feel deprived. You will almost certainly lose the war by dieting.
Until we understand that we are dead in our trespass and sin, that our will is obstinate, that our carnal mind is hostile to God, and that left to ourselves we love our sinful pleasures more than God, we will not realize that we need the Almighty power of God to change (perhaps that is why diets are so popular). This is why sanctification is a work of the Spirit of God. Only the Spirit of life from Christ can quicken us when we are dead in trespasses and sins starting with the conviction of the Holy Spirit beginning God’s holy work of repentance in us. Instead of gathering up a new round of “willpower” to try harder, agree with God and trust Him to change you instead of turning to yourself to change you, and enjoy the relationship you have with Him in the process. Repent means to turn--turn from food to God. Let Him lead the steps of your path of behavior change and be obedient in the little things, change that happens little by little “from glory to glory” (2 Corinthians 3:18) regardless of what “everyone else” around you may be doing (including dieting).
The personal conviction that my compulsive overeating was sin was the turning point that led me out of the downward spiral of stifling addictions to begin the process up to complete freedom. As I stood at the refrigerator in the 15th year of bingeing 5x/night every single night and admitted to myself (finally) that “something is obviously wrong”, I was also convicted by the Holy Spirit of sin, though I didn’t recognize it as from the Holy Spirit, or that I was sinning, at that point. What I felt at that moment was conviction that it was not right to be eating so much food (gluttonous in dousing my pain for 15 years straight) while there are so many people all over the world who do not have enough food to eat. I truly felt bad--and sorry. Perhaps it wasn’t a full confession of sin at that moment in time, but it was the necessary conviction of the Holy Spirit about my sin in that area. That moment of conviction and revelation by the power of the Holy Spirit (I had never been concerned about eating more than my fair share before—not one time in 15 years of bingeing every night did I ever even think of that, no less feel bad about it) was the moment that Healing actually began. Conviction, repentance, Healing. If there is going to be a transformation in our lives it may be necessary to come face to face with sin, and repent.
But (and here's the unexpected kicker) at the same time as I was convicted, I also felt acceptance for the first time in 15 years of bingeing. When the Holy Spirit convicts he does NOT condemn. In fact, quite the opposite! I had believed the lie that my worth was dependent on my body image. But at this turning point God was accepting me, and I was coming out of denial and accepting the fact that “something is obviously wrong” to be causing so much overeating (notice the compassion in that thought, like the compassion Jesus had with the adulterous woman at the well for why she was so "thirsty" in her sinful life). I knew something was wrong but I suddenly became aware that I didn't really know what it was (I thought it was my "failure" in not making an Olympic team, but that was the tip of the iceberg), so I asked God to show me. I put my hand in God’s Hand and walked forward that night with Him step by step to complete freedom. Pastor Jim Keavney explains that repent and believe means turn and trust. As I began to walk with God with my sin He Revealed pain that I was not even aware of and then I would go through the Healing process with Him. Step by step, He never misses a step. He knows everything that has happened, and He knows our hearts better than we do. The Word of God says we don’t even know our own hearts:
“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”
Jeremiah 17:9 (NIV)
Many professionals in the field of eating disorders say that people can get better from eating disorders, but they will have to live with the struggle to some degree for the rest of their lives. But Jesus said,
". . . ‘If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’”
John 8:31-32 (NIV)
I am completely free from compulsive overeating, even from the urges. In fact, my body changed such that I don’t feel good when I don’t eat healthy and, miracle of miracles, I don’t even want to eat the way I used to eat. My desires are completely changed—for 30 years. The temptations and desire to overeat are completely gone and the pain is Healed.
So if you hesitate or resist at the thought of repentance think of it this way--repentance may be the door through which you need to go to walk out of prison (bondage to food) to freedom. It is the door through which the prodigal son met with his Father's incredible Love. If you are too ashamed to come before God or think you need to "be better" before you come to Him realize that "while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8) and that Jesus "gave himself as a ransom" (1 Timothy 2:6) to get us out of prison.
You probably will not overcome a besetting sin without the power of the Holy Spirit. If you are not a believer, confess and repent, and receive the sacrificial death of Jesus Christ for your sin. Then get ready to be amazed at the gift of the Holy Spirit given to you.
For more encouragement and help you can check out the N.E.W. LIFE e-book which includes more support, the N.E.W. LIFE Eating Plan and additional nutrition information.
Your Christian dietitian and friend in Christ,
Diane
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