Jesus is a Loving Friend

 

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.  Now remain in my love.  If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. . . Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.  You are my friends if you do what I command.  I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business.  Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.”

John 15:9-10, 13-15 (NIV)

 

Interestingly, Jesus elevates those who do what He commands from servant (no longer) to friend.  Sounds counterintuitive, right?  Though the believer calls Him Lord, and Master, and seeks to obey Him, He calls us friends with whom He shares everything He learned from His Father.  And that’s the difference between servant and friend—friends share.  Jesus wants to share His life with us and we should want to do the same with Him. 

We all need a real friend.  If you have been blessed with one you know what a treasure it is and the love that is involved.  Jesus is the Friend with the greatest Love—the One who laid down His life for His friends.  He is the ultimate Friend of the obedient believer.  He is a real Friend who accepts us just the way we are with all of our imperfections and sin as real friends do.  We can share with Him our joy and pain, our victories and struggles, our day-to-day thoughts and concerns.  He will understand it all. 

 

Communication

A healthy relationship requires good communication.  If we want a healthy relationship with God we need to talk to Him and be able to hear from Him.  God has communicated clearly to us in His Word and the Holy Spirit illuminates the Word of God to the believer who has received Christ.  The more time we spend with someone the stronger that relationship is.  Do you read God’s Word?  How much?

When I developed an addictive relationship with food after my career as a competitive gymnast, not once did I read the Bible in those 15 years (I think I picked up a children’s story book Bible several times because I was drawn to the stories).  I knew about God, but I had no relationship with God.  I had no idea that He wanted to Speak to me, nor me to Him.  If your eating is out-of-balance of course you will need to take steps to change, but start with God, and continue to walk with Him every day.  Let Him communicate with you, and you with Him.  Read His Word daily and pray.  Every day.  Throughout the day. 

It may be that you only have questions.  At the “turning point” of my journey out of bingeing 5x/night I finally came to the point to think to myself (in front of the refrigerator), “Something is obviously wrong.”  I could not tell you what it was, but I was finally acknowledging the fact that something must have been wrong.  I was coming out of denial and I simply asked the first question—what is wrong?  I wanted to know.  A simple question with a sincere heart, and the journey began with God Who led me all the way out of the severe 5-tier bondage to food, diets, body image, exercise and the scale that I was completely entangled in. 

“‘Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.’”  Matthew 7:7-8 (NIV)

 

“For who has despised the day of small things?”  Zechariah 4:10a (NKJV)

 

“‘Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, “Move from here to there” and it will move.  Nothing will be impossible for you.’”  Matthew 17:20b-c (NIV)

 

My faith was very small, but it was real.  God did not show me anything that night (except that “something is obviously wrong”), but soon He was revealing things—one thing at a time—that would answer that question (“what is wrong?”), and so many more.  But I had to ask first.  I had to want to know what was really going on.  When Jesus healed a paralytic man at a pool in Jerusalem He asked him a strange question:

“Now a certain man was there who had an infirmity thirty-eight years.  When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he already had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, ‘Do you want to be made well?’”  John 5:5-6 (NKJV)

 

First things first--determine if you want to be “made well”.  If so ask God, “What is really wrong?”  Then hold His Hand and follow His lead.  God did indeed show me what was wrong, the pain I didn’t even know was driving my out-of-control eating, one Perfect step at a time for His Perfect Healing because God knows our heart and our pain better than we do.  God doesn’t miss any steps so the result is complete freedom.

At another point on my journey out of food/body image/exercise addiction I remember asking God, “Why do I always feel like a burden to everyone?”  I suddenly realized that I felt that from as far back as I could remember.  Again, no immediate answer, but about 6 months later during a visit to my family I heard my dear mother say, “Oh, Diane, give me a break” (with the tone that pierced my heart) and the lights went on.  I suddenly realized that I had heard that what seemed like 1000’s of times before, but never “heard” it (remember the question I asked God about why I always felt like a burden to everyone).  I went up to my room angry and upset, and started off the evening blaming my poor mother for so much of the pain in our family.  But by the morning I was praying, “Father, forgive her, for she does not even know what she is doing!”  God Revealed something about my mother regarding her own mother (a godly grandmother who I adore) and led me to forgiveness.  I did not realize it at the time, but that’s where true healing would lie—in forgiveness. 

Notice the process.  I earnestly asked God the question about my felt pain (feeling like a burden), God Revealed something I did not see or remember (my mother’s words), and then He led me to forgiveness (the very next opportunity that I was back in my mother’s presence, although I didn’t even know she was the “problem” I had!).  I sincerely doubt if I would have come to any of this on my own.  Also notice the similarity to what Jesus said on the cross—“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34, NIV)  That’s not because I’m some great pray-er (in fact, I was not), and I don’t bring it up to take any credit for it nor for any discredit to my precious mother, but to share that Jesus has indeed gone before us and leads the way.  I share this only to encourage you that God answers our questions.  Have no doubt, I love my mother.   

You can share everything with a true friend—things that may be too embarrassing to share with others—and Jesus will not shame us or condemn us when we come to Him with these things.  He already knows all about them and is waiting for us to come to Him.

 

 “Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess.  For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.  Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”  Hebrews 4:14-16 (NIV)

This verse especially encourages distressed souls to come to Him, but that can be the very time (especially if burdened also with shame) that some may find it hardest to come.  Be encouraged by God’s Word to come to Him in need.  Each and every believer is welcome to the throne of grace if they come in faith.  Our Good, Good Abba Father knows what we need and is ready to give us mercy and grace to help us.

 

Dear Jesus, Thank you for empathizing with our weaknesses and for the greater sacrificial love of Your friendship. 

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The Bride of Christ

The New Testament continues the marriage theme describing the Church—and ultimately all the elect of God--as the bride of Christ.  While the Husband-wife references in the Bible specifically describe God’s relationship with Israel, Christians are in a New Covenant relationship with God through Jesus Christ.  He is our Bridegroom and we are His bride.  Jesus described this in one of the parables He told:

“And Jesus answered and spoke to them again by parables and said: ‘The kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who arranged a marriage for his son, and sent out his servants to call those who were invited to the wedding; and they were not willing to come.’”  Matthew 22:1-3 (NKJV)

Elsewhere Scripture describes the relationship of the Bridegroom with His bride:

“I am jealous for you with a godly jealously.  I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him.”  2 Corinthians 11:2 (NIV)

“Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory!  For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready.”  Revelation 19:7 (NIV)

“One of the seven angels who had the seven bowls full of the seven last plagues came and said to me, ‘Come, I will show you the bride, the wife of the Lamb.’”  Revelation 21:9 (NIV)

“The Spirit and the bride say, ‘Come!’”  Revelation 22:17a (NIV)    

As in the Old Testament, in the New Testament God is so serious about His Covenant relationship with us that He calls anything that takes us away from our relationship with Him spiritual unfaithfulness, or adultery!

“You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God?  Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.  Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us?  But he gives us more grace. . . Submit yourselves, then, to God.  Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.  Come near to God and he will come near to you.”  James 4:4-6a, 7-8a (NIV)

Importantly, the Greek word for friendship used here describes a strong emotional attachment.  Dear reader, do you have a strong emotional attachment to food?  Be encouraged.  God’s “more grace” is greater than the power of sin, the flesh, the world, and Satan.

So often the Word of God is simple, direct and effectual:

“Dear children, keep yourselves from idols.”  1 John 5:21 (NIV)

 

While in this text John is referring to the false beliefs and practices of false teachers, for a Christian anything is an idol which takes the place of God in the heart.  No thing or creature should be loved more than God, including food or body image. 

And think about the unprofitableness of idolatry.  People generally yield to sin because they think it will bring some advantage, albeit temporary.  For example, when I was in the throes of my food addiction I felt that bingeing would “satisfy” the cravings and any uncomfortableness that resulted if I didn’t binge.  It seemed like it did satisfy (because I did not have the real satisfaction that comes from God to compare it to) but very soon the cravings would always return—every day for 15 years straight--until I finally yielded myself to God and began the real journey to Healing where the underlying issues and pain were resolved.  The idolatry of food brought me no overall gain whatsoever (except weight gain!).  In fact, it was a huge expenditure.  I wasted an incredible amount of time, energy, emotions, money, food and health bingeing on food which only kept me “stuck” emotionally instead of moving forward.  Furthermore, idols cannot appease cravings.  In fact, they actually do the opposite as they only serve to excite the desire further.

Our “marriage” to Jesus Christ, who was raised from the dead, allows us to also be delivered from the law that we may bear fruit to God and serve in the newness of the Spirit:

“Therefore, my brethren, you also have become dead to the law through the body of Christ, that you may be married to another—to Him who was raised from the dead, that we should bear fruit to God.  For when we were in the flesh, the sinful passions which were aroused by the law were at work in our members to bear fruit to death.  But now we have been delivered from the law, having died to what we were held by, so that we should serve in the newness of the spirit and not in the oldness of the letter.” Romans 7:4-6 (NKJV)

The result of our “marriage” to Christ is a transformed life that the Holy Spirit produces, with a new state of mind and new desires—a bride fit for Christ.  When we turn away from Christ and embrace the world, we sin against His great love that bought us out of the slave market of sin.  Think of what it cost Jesus to sanctify His bride, the Church:

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,  that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.”  Ephesians 5:25-27 (NKJV)

Do we, His bride, desire the Bridegroom more than food?  Do we desire Him as much as He desires us?  If we yield ourselves to the Holy Spirit He will sanctify us and ready us for the Wedding Day, including our desires:

“May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through.  May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.  The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.”  1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 (NIV)

The Holy Spirit sanctifies the believer—we are not able to sanctify ourselves—but God does also give us the responsibility to participate in the process.  The sanctifying cannot be done without God, but we are responsible to participate.  Think of it like a little boy whose father includes him in a job he is doing--teaching the little boy as he is having relationship with him—the job gets done because of the father, not the little boy, but if the little boy didn’t participate he would not experience the same closeness of relationship with the father and what he is teaching the boy by participating in the job.  Same with us.  Furthermore, the little boy can inhibit the process of the job getting done well by causing problems, just as we can inhibit the process of being sanctified well by sinning which separates us from the Father.  So we certainly have a part to play, even an obligation:

“You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you.  And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life because of righteousness.  And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you.

 

“Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it.  For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.

 

“For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.”  Romans 8:9-14 (NIV)

 

We “have an obligation . . . by the Spirit” to “put to death the misdeeds of the body”.  Did you notice it does not say by the self’s willpower to put to death the misdeeds of the body?  No, if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body you will live.  It is the difference between controlling (with “willpower”) and submitting (to the Holy Spirit).  We are urged to offer our bodies as living sacrifices as an act of worship, holy and pleasing to God:

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.  Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”  Romans 12:1-2 (NIV)

 

and to present ourselves, and our members, to God:

“Therefore, do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts.  And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.  For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace.”  Romans 6:12-14 (NKJV)

 

Offering.  Presenting.  It is the Holy Spirit Who enables the victory.  The key to victory is in surrendering to God and being filled with the Spirit, and it is this surrender of our will--our greatest battle--where the battle over flesh, addiction, and besetting sin is won.  The victory is in Christ, and nowhere else.  When Jesus submitted His will to God He provided for our sanctification that results from daily walking by the Spirit.  Jesus has given us His example to follow:

“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”  Luke 22:42 (NIV)

 

Jesus submitted His will to the Father, and oh what an overcoming He received!  And now He has provided the same for us!

So it is God Who purifies His Bride.  Our role in the process is to repent for sin (continually as necessary) and surrender to God in obedience to His Word.  Sanctification is performed by the Holy Spirit, often through the agency of the Word of God “just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word” (Ephesians 5:25-26, NKJV).  So read it!  Take a shower every day!  Besides, we become like what we behold, so spend time beholding Jesus, the Word (John 1:1) to become more like Him.  We are to be found readying ourselves for the Bridegroom, a purified bride:

“But the day of the Lord will come like a thief.  The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything done in it will be laid bare.  Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be?  You ought to live holy and godly lives as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming. . . So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him.”  2 Peter 3:10-12a, 14 (NIV)

“The voice of one crying in the wilderness:

‘Prepare the way of the Lord;

Make straight in the desert

A highway for our God.

Every valley shall be exalted

And every mountain and hill brought low;

The crooked places shall be made straight

And the rough places smooth;

The glory of the Lord shall be revealed,

And all flesh shall see it together;

For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.”  Isaiah 40:3-5 (NIV)

“Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known.  But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.  All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure.”  1 John 3:2-3 (NIV)

“Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting:

‘Hallelujah!

    For our Lord God Almighty reigns.

Let us rejoice and be glad

    and give him glory!

For the wedding of the Lamb has come,

    and his bride has made herself ready.

Fine linen, bright and clean,

    was given her to wear.’

(Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of God’s holy people.)

Then the angel said to me, ‘Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!’ And he added, ‘These are the true words of God.’  Revelation 19:6-9 (NIV)

“Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away.  Also there was no more sea.  Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. . . One of the seven angels who had the seven bowls full of the seven last plagues came and said to me, ‘Come, I will show you the bride, the wife of the Lamb.’  And he carried me away in the Spirit to a mountain great and high, and showed me the Holy City, Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God.”  Revelation 21:1-2, 9-10 (NKJV)

“For I am jealous for you with godly jealousy.  For I have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.”   2 Corinthians 11:2 (NKJV)

And remember, God wants relationship with us for eternity, which begins now.  Hear what the Bridegroom says to His bride:

“Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline.  So be earnest and repent.  Here I am!  I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.”  Revelation 3:19-20 (NIV)

“Jesus answered and said to him, ‘If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him.’”  John 14:23 (NKJV)

 

Dear God, Help us to be a faithful bride to the Bridegroom, readying for His Return.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen

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God Our Father

“But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship.  Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, ‘Abba, Father.’  So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.”

 

Galatians 4:4-7 (NIV)

 

Throughout the Bible it is evident that God wants relationship with His people.  To clarify further—God desires intimate relationship with us.  The Bible describes God’s relationship with His people in several intimate ways—Father and son/daughter, Husband and wife, Bridegroom and bride, Friend.  The Bible says that for true believers God is our Heavenly Father.  However, not everyone is a child of God, a thought many people like to comfort themselves with.  This is what God’s Word has to say about who is a child of God:

 

We must receive and believe Jesus Christ whom God sent to be Savior from sin:

“The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world.  He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him.   He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him.  Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.”  John 1:9-13 (NIV)

 

We become children of God by being baptized into Christ through faith in Christ:

“For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus.  For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ.  There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.  And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.”  Galatians 3:26-29 (NKJV)

 

Those who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God:

“For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.  The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.  And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father.’  The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.  Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.”  Romans 8:14-17 (NIV)

 

Children of God should be imitators of God and walk in love:

“Therefore be imitators of God as dear children.  And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.”  Ephesians 5:1-2 (NKJV)

 

Children of God should pray to the Father:

“One day Jesus was praying in a certain place.  When he finished, one of his disciples said to him, ‘Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples.’   He said to them, ‘When you pray, say: “Father, hallowed be your name”’”  Luke 11:1-2 (NIV)

 

 

Children of God are being sanctified, purified:

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!  And that is what we are! . . . Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known.  But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.  All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure.”  1 John 3:1a-b, 2-3 (NIV)

“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. . . For we are the temple of the living God.  As God has said: ‘I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.’   Therefore, ‘Come out from them and be separate, says the Lord.  Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.’  And, ‘I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.’”  2 Corinthians 6:14a, 16b-18 (NIV)

 

If you have received and believe Jesus Christ as Savior, God is your Father.

 

Now think about your pain.  If you are a parent, do you care if your child is in pain?  Mothers, when you think of all the sacrifices you made for your children, does it hurt if they don’t want relationship with you and instead turn to other things?  Does it hurt if they get themselves enslaved instead of living their life to the full after all you did to afford them that?  Are you enslaved to food, diets, body image, exercise and/or the scale?  Remember what it cost Jesus Christ for you to have relationship with God, to be able to heal, and to live an abundant life of freedom from slavery to sin.

 

 

Do you know that your heavenly Father cares about your pain?

 

For those of you who may have a difficult time knowing God as “Father” (for whatever reason--abusive or absent earthly father, etc.), consider knowing the Father through Jesus:

“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me.  If you really know me, you will know my Father as well.  From now on, you do know him and have seen him.’  Philip said, ‘Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.’  Jesus answered: ‘Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time?  Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father.  How can you say, “Show us the Father”?  Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me?  The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority.  Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work.  Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the works themselves.’”  John 14:6-11 (NIV)

Not only are believers children of God, we are His adopted children.  This means Chosen!

 

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.  For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.  In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.  In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us.”  Ephesians 1:3-8 (NIV)

The riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us—there’s that word again.  We are lavishly loved, and we are adopted children--no longer a slave, but God’s child:

“But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship.  Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, ‘Abba, Father.’  So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.”  Galatians 4:4-7 (NIV)

 

Dear Father, Bless your children.  Reveal Your Love to them and Heal their pain.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

 

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