“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for
those who are in Christ Jesus . . .”
Romans 8:1 (NIV)
I
have noticed that there are two large groups of people who participate in the N.E.W. LIFE program. About 50% of the people do not know what a
balanced diet is, no less an optimal one, confused
by nutrition information (and misinformation) and because the Standard American
Diet is so
far from optimal https://newlifeforhealth.blogspot.com/2013/08/an-optimal-diet.html. Teach them, they have hardly any barriers to
change (which totally amazes me), contact them years later and they often have
maintained many or all of the changes made.
However,
the other 50ish% of each class (and the culture at large?) comes with an additional component underlying their
food behaviors—a very out-of-balance, or outright addictive, emotional component
to eating. Now don’t misunderstand—an
emotional component to eating is
right and good. Nutriture and nurture
are two God-given roles of food (watch a baby at the breast). Nurture is not the problem—overnurture
is. And overnurture usually results from
undernurture,
as with a “good food/bad food” diet mentality and restrictive diets that lead
to what I call the “deprivation-rebound overeating” cycle. The most perfect eating plan on earth is not
going to help that 2nd (very large) group of people, because their
“problem” is not first and foremost about food, but rather coping with
underlying unresolved issues without the
aid of food. In fact, often it will
make them feel worse for having “failed” yet another great diet. So while the first group of people will say, “I don’t have a relationship with food”,
I have never in all my years of teaching ever heard one person complain that I
spend about 45% of the time in the N.E.W.
LIFE program and counseling on “relationship with food” issues, because
everyone realizes that we would do a huge disservice to a huge amount of people
if we do not help individuals who need to deal with this issue.
So the first thing you must do if you are looking to take the
journey to better health is determine which group you are in. Are you an “emotional eater”
or not? It’s time to
be honest. Do you have a relationship with food that is out of
balance?
Whenever I use the term
“emotional eater”, what I mean is an overemotional
eater. There is an emotional component to eating. The goal is not to achieve a lifestyle of
eating behavior totally devoid of any emotional component to eating. But if you have no self-control regarding food, feel enslaved by food,
or have allowed food to become an idol and take the place of God, then food has
taken a place it is not meant to be in. Overemotional
eating is often fueled by underlying unresolved emotional pain. Emotional eaters also
turn to food to comfort loneliness, to calm stress, and about as many other
reasons as there are emotions.
Individuals who
struggle with emotionally-driven eating often use food as a coping
mechanism. For emotional eaters the problem is not first
and foremost about food, but rather coping with other issues without the aid of
food. If you are an emotional eater food
can be a coping mechanism to deal with feelings that might otherwise make you
feel uncomfortable—you may even feel they threaten to overwhelm you if you did
not use something (like food) to cope with them. This is why it is so difficult to break the
cycle of emotional eating—it takes feeling, and healing from, difficult
feelings that are much “easier” to ignore, bury under food, or deny. Ironically, if you are an emotional eater you
probably eat to keep uncomfortable
feelings from surfacing. You may not be
able to label the pain, or you may be in denial that there is any pain fueling
your eating behavior. When I was
bingeing 5x/night I could not label what the pain was and I was also in denial and unaware that there was anything wrong
other than my lack of ability to control my food intake. All I knew was I felt anxious if I did not
eat (to stuff the pain)—food was a calming device. But once I started (with God’s help) to lift
the coping mechanism, the pain started to surface. That’s when it was time to walk through the pain with God—not around the
pain, ignore the pain, stuff the pain, deny the pain—but walk through the pain,
with God, to Healing and freedom on the other side.
However, the pain can
be so great that it may not only be helpful but necessary to not go through it
alone, but with an understanding spouse, a trusted friend, a professional Biblically-based
Christian counselor or an experienced Biblically-based pastoral counselor and, most importantly, with God. When
you take each step with Him through
the process of Healing He won’t miss any steps (as even the best counselor,
without God, likely will). He knows
everything that has happened, and He knows your heart better than you do. The Word of God says we don’t even
know our own hearts:
“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond
cure. Who can understand it?”
Jeremiah
17:9 (NIV)
God
knows everything and He won’t miss any steps if you follow His lead for
Healing. I have heard professionals in
the field of eating disorders say that people can get better from eating disorders, but they will have to live with the
struggle to some degree for the rest of their lives. But Jesus
said,
". . . 'If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.'"
John 8:31-32 (NIV)
I, for one, can testify to the fact that I am completely free from the 5-tier, 15 year, unrelenting bondage I was in to food, diets, body image, exercise and the scale. I can sleep in the same house as Haagen-Dazs ice cream through the night (whereas before I had to keep it out of the house, but would often go out and get it in the middle of the night). Now I forget to eat in situations that have been far more painful than the ones that had me bingeing for 15 years straight. I remember when I was facilitating a Christ-centered support/recovery group and I shared a painful situation I was going through, one of the women asked me, "Did you eat?" and I was the most amazed person on earth that I actually forgot to eat! When God Heals He really Heals. Freedom from food/body image obsession is available to everyone. All agree that the problem involves physical and emotional factors. However, the spiritual component is just as important as the first two (if not more) and, if left out, the professionals are right--we can get better, but not necessarily free. True freedom results in being able to grieve the pain of life rather than turning to the "aid" of food to "cope". Often that healing requires forgiveness which, without God, is virtually impossible for many people who have experienced so much horrendous offense.
So
there are two reasons (at least) why it is important that you determine to walk
with God through the process of healing from pain and any bondage to emotional
eating that may have developed. First of
all, if you have replaced a relationship with Him with a relationship with
food, it’s time to repent and get that right. Furthermore, when He leads the process He
doesn’t miss a step, so the result is freedom. I
remember the exact moment 30 years ago that I stood in front of the
refrigerator and, for the first time, felt conviction rather than the 15 years
straight of condemnation. I didn’t
realize it then, but now I know that was the Holy Spirit, and that was a
powerful work of God. It was the key
turning point from self-condemnation to self-acceptance (instead of 15 years of
feeling “you terrible, slovenly, lack of willpower person” I was coming out of
denial and recognizing “something is obviously wrong”, though I could not yet
tell you what it was). I finally said to myself that something was obviously wrong, but I could not label the pain. All I knew was that I felt anxious if I did
not eat. The difference was (and this
was the turning point from going continually downhill to beginning the process
up and out of the eating disorder) self-acceptance
(notice I didn’t say “self-esteem”). I
felt conviction instead of the condemnation I had been under up until
then. That was the key turning point—conviction is from the Holy Spirit,
condemnation is from the enemy.
The reality is if you
suffer from emotional eating driven by unresolved issues, in order to become
free of the bondage to emotional eating (and the toll it is taking on your
life) it will likely involve healing from pain.
I define freedom as being able to grieve the pain of life without the
aid of food to “cope”. Real life
involves both pain and joy. With God’s
Grace we can deal with the pain. I don’t
think He meant for food (or drugs, or alcohol, or promiscuous sex) to take that
role. Think about it—wouldn’t that mean
we might just as well become an alcohol or drug addict and be excused for the
same reason?
For
people who are not emotional eaters N.E.W.
LIFE provides the thorough basis to change behaviors and maintain healthy
eating and lifestyle habits for the rest of your life. However, if you are an
emotional eater you will likely not be able to achieve permanent weight management
and freedom from bondage to food until underlying issues are resolved and your
relationship with God begins to replace your relationship with food.
So
first step--evaluate if you are an emotional eater or not. Perhaps some of the following questions will
help you to do that. It is not an exhaustive list, but consider the following
questions, preferably during or shortly after an overeating episode, and ask
God to show you what He will:
Am
I experiencing true physiological hunger or do I just want something (anything!) to
eat?
Am
I eating to calm anxiety? Do I feel anxious if I don’t eat?
Am
I eating to calm stress?
Have
I been the "nurturer" for others so much today that I am using food to
nurture me?
Am
I eating because I feel lonely?
Do
I feel unloved?
Am
I depressed?
Am
I angry?
Am
I overeating to "celebrate"? (some “feasting” is OK but holidays and
social gatherings may affect your eating too often)
Am
I eating to avoid love and intimacy?
Am
I eating to avoid facing problems?
Am
I eating to punish myself or others?
Am
I overeating in response to depriving myself of food?
Do
I binge
several times a week?
God bless you on your
journey with spiritual, emotional and physical health and Healing.
N.E.W. LIFE (Nutrition, Exercise, Wellness for LIFE): Biblical Support for Health and Freedom from Bondage to Food and Diets
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